The Hardest Part...

So much has happened since my last blog which I will get into later, but for now I'd like to share the hardest part of being in Peru...

Honestly, I thought I would perfectly content and free of culture shock until we got to Iquitos. Arequipa ia very modern and thus far there isn't much I can't find here (besides miso soup and orbitz gum). But today I called my dad on Skype to find out my Gram is in the hospital. She was on her way to the doctor (I believe) and some girl u-turned and hit the car she was in and now my Gram is in the ER with 2 broken ribs.

So today I am facing my worst fear- that something will happen to my family while I am so far away- and it sucks.

But, in every moment we have a choice, and in this one I am choosing to believe that she will be okay. I am choosing to put my faith and trust in the One who called me here...especially when things happen that are out of my control. I am choosing to be thankful I am here, even though I desperately wish I was close to my family.

What will YOU choose?

Aloha means Te Amo,
Suthee :)

Present Tense

In my first 2 weeks of Spanish class I could only speak in the present tense. There were times when I was frustrated that I couldn’t explain something because I couldn’t speak of the past or future. At first, I viewed this as a limit but the funny thing about limits is that, more often than not, they lead a different kind of freedom. In my limited knowledge, I became free to really explore the present moment. I’m not saying the past and future aren’t important, of course they are! The past has contributed to who we are and the future will grow from the choices we make in the present. However, when you can only speak of this moment you begin to realize how much you talk about that is out of your hands. It’s sad to me when I think of how much time and energy I’ve expended over things I could not change or control (and so as not to repeat those mistakes, I won’t continue on that subject anymore!).

I’m so thankful for the past 2 weeks of not being able to speak about anything but the present. I’m so thankful to be fully present in this moment, that I can appreciate all I’d normally take for granted.

Learning Spanish is teaching me more about myself and life than I would’ve thought possible. And that is always a good place to be. I challenge you to find ways to be fully present in this moment.

Aloha Means Te Amo,
Suthee :)

Day by Day...

Today I spoke with some of my 4th grade students from Hawaii on Skype and cried because I miss them terribly. This did not surprise me, but what DID surprise me was that the peace in my heart did not waver. I remain confident that THIS place is the place for THIS moment. It is a strange thing to completely love the people of another place and yet know that the right place, for the moment, is so far from them. I am again filled with overwhelming gratitude for my ohana that is matched only by the quiet confidence that I am exactly where I should be...

And I believe this moment is blessed.

Aloha Means Te Amo,
Suthee :)

Esperar

In spanish class this week I learned that the word "esperar" means to hope, to wait, to expect. In practicing my vocabulary, every time I came to "esperar" my thoughts turned to this verse, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see". I love the spanish language- even more so when I learned about the different meanings for esperar.

Waiting for something we haven't seen is an act of HOPE. Sometimes it is easy to forget that. Sometimes we think that waiting is futile because we do not have hope. But when we wait with expectation-- how incredible it is to see our hope fulfilled!

"Espero al Senor, lo espero con toda el alma; en su palabra he puesto mi esperanza." Salmos 130:5 (Psalm 130:5)

Aloha Means Te Amo,
Suthee :)

Leer Means to Read

Yesterday my spanish speaking German sister, Francesca, took Brittany (my roommate) and I to some of her favorite places near La Plaza de Armas. Our last stop was a "fake" bookstore where you can get almost any classic book in espanol very cheap. I just started 'The Magician's Nephew' by CS Lewis (thanks to Eick) so when I saw 'El Sobrino del Mago' I decided to attempt it in espanol also.

HA! Yeah... I'm on page 3. And please don't ask how long it took me to get there :)

Despite the difficulty, I am very excited to be learning spanish for real. It's nice to finally know how to form sentences! My hope is that I will learn a lot these 3 months in order to be a better partner to my Peruana counterpart. And that this effort will translate into a genuine love for the people of Peru.

Ojala (I hope)!

Aloha Means Te Amo,
Suthee :)

Bend Not Break

As hard as it may be for you to believe, I haven't listened to my iPod since I left for Peru. I've thought it was strange, but wasn't sure why I hadn't.

Then today I turned it on and listened to Hide & Seek by Imogen Heap (I realize a lot of you have no idea who that is, sorry). I wasn't sad, wasn't homesick, but when I heard that song I remembered the last time I listened to it and started to cry. Strange, no? The memory I have in connection to that song is a great one: riding in the back of my friend Cati's truck, taking in the beauty of the ocean & mountains of Hawaii.

It's strange when you begin to realize that your life is no longer your life. Strange when you realize this new place is your now your place. These new people are now your people. The Israelites struggled with this one for decades. Hopefully I can learn from them, so, I'm determined to welcome this new life with open arms, and not rebel against the unfamiliarity. Determined to take in each day and find the beauty that awaits. Even when it looks much different than that of the old familiar places.

Change is always difficult. But I'm learning to bend through the change and allow it to mold me, not break me.

Aloha Means I Love You,
Suthee :)